Acceptance

I have accepted that every baby is different. I have accepted that Lucas might not STTN. Ever! That is totally OK. My son is healthy which is most important. My son is happy and so many people love him. Those things are so much more important than STTN. I will have a new attitude going forward.

I will embrace the good nights. I will be grateful and elated with any good nights he has. His comfort is way more important to me than my sleep. He has had two good nights in a row. 6.5 hour stretch and 6 hrs 45 minutes last night. His sleep after that initial stretch are in short blocks but that seems typical.

I never wanted much more than a decent stretch of sleep but I realize that will not happen all the time. Some weeks will suck and some will be great. I will try to focus on the great and be there for him on the sucky nights. I want to stop revolving my life around how his sleep was. I want to not focus on it, obsess on it, read up on it.

I love Lucas in ways indescribable. I don't want to look back at this time and only remember his sleep or lack of.